Ashlee’s a spunky home organizer who loves her dogs, rock climbs like a beast, writes beautiful things on her Instagram mini-blogs and does a mean Anjelah Johnson impression.

She’s got a lovely loud voice, and louder thoughts filled with strength and vulnerability.

Much love to you Ashlee!

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How are you feeling about yourself today?

I started the morning feeling a little weird. I usually have self-confidence in droves, but I wasn’t really feeling myself this morning. I hadn’t decided what to wear, and I fell asleep before I finished cleaning my room this morning. Basically, I just felt a bit frumpy.

 Can you describe your daily routine for getting ready to leave the house?

In general, I have an extremely low maintenance routine. As in, my day is pretty much on track if I can just remember to brush my teeth! In the spirit of low maintenance, every piece of clothing I own has been curated to look good with at least three others. What this means is that if I decide on an outfit, but put it on and hate the shirt, it isn’t a huge meltdown moment to just change into a new unplanned one. I make sure to keep only clothes that make me feel good about myself. The world has enough things to burden my confidence, I don’t need to add fodder to the fire. If I love myself, inevitably others will love me too.

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Do you have one or two things that you do to make yourself feel more confident?

Mascara. Always. I have really, really long eyelashes that grow in a board straight line. A good, dry mascara and an eyelash curler can pretty much turn around my entire day. Seriously! I want to kiss whoever invented the eyelash curler right on the mouth!

 How did this session make you feel?

As soon as the first picture Savannah took (of my dog-y’all, she’s a freaking babesalad) was shown to me, I was in. Confidence up- ready to go. The rest of the day was pretty unreal. Seeing yourself be beautiful just for being yourself is so freeing! I kept thinking that they should bottle that feeling. That moment where you just absolutely know that you’re beautiful and other people will think that too. It’s a bit addicting. So lovely. This session made me feel lovely.

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How did the photos make you feel?

Whoops! I sort of answered this one already, but I think what is going to be more interesting is having these photos to look back on when I’m having a really bad day. When my hair looks greasy and my clothes don’t fit right and I can’t seem to find anything good. I will now be able to look back on these and have immediate self love. What a gift!

 Do you have a hard time seeing yourself as beautiful?

I think over the years, my definition of beauty in myself has changed. In high school, it was about showing enough cleavage to make a point, but not enough to get in trouble. In college, it was about what people said made me beautiful: my legs, my dancing, my hair, my smile, my sports trivia prowess etc. Now though, I am learning to put weight on what the Word says makes me beautiful. It says that I am clothed in strength and dignity and the the face of the Lord shines upon me. Even on my worst days, those are incredible promises, so that’s where I try to return my focus to. 

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 If you’re comfortable talking about it, what’s something that has been a hard insecurity to fight in your life?

I was bullied a lot as a kid. I was nicknamed “buck worthless” in middle school because I had buckteeth and my last name is Walworth (kids aren’t very clever). Other than my best friend Sarah, I can count the amount of good memories I have from 2nd to 10th grade on one hand. 

Has that always been the case?

Yes, well, sort of. The worst part about bullies is the “gaslight effect” (look it up, it will blow your mind and should enrage you). If someone tells you something long enough and frequently enough, you start to believe it. I had braces and my smile was perfect until recently my front tooth started to shift a fraction and I FULL ON panicked. I got it stopped for the moment, but I still think about it at least once a day and I can’t stop noticing it in pictures now. I know it’s subtle and no one else notices, but I can’t stop. I think that it all comes back to what I was bullied for when I was younger. Me and Jesus and my therapist are working on it.

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What are your favorite physical features about yourself?

I’ve had a six pack pretty much for a decade (give or take a year or two in college, haha) and I love how strong I feel because of that. I really do love my eyelashes too, but only if they’re curled!

 

What are your favorite NON-physical features about yourself?

Is it too cliché to say that it is Christ in me? I promise you, I’m a Slytherin. I have a deep, dark heart. Without Jesus, I’m a huge jerk face doodoo head. Other than that it would be my mind. I read over 100 books last year. I love that my brain has room for that.

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What is one thing that makes you feel loved?

Gifts. I know, I know, I sound like a jerk. “Give me stuff!” What I mean by that is that thoughtfulness means the world to me. It can be as small as a sweet note or remembering my favorite restaurant to really complex things like flying me to a surprise location in California. I feel loved when I am remembered. 

Do you have anything you’d like to share with others about beauty, worth, or these sessions?

I have a pretty unique style in that I am somewhere between beer drinking-sunflower seed spitting-soccer pants wearing bro-girl, a hipster, and a JCrew suburban mom. It is sometimes hard for me to remember that I’m not beautiful because of what I wear or what I look like. Truth is, I’m beautiful because I am- because I exist. I am beautiful because I was made beautiful. Sometimes I totally forget that. My advice is to love yourself no matter what. Love yourself more than you could ever hate yourself. You were fearfully and wonderfully made so love yourself like that is true. 

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Savannah Lauren | Photography
SAVANNAH LAUREN
Bold intimate photography that tells your story